The Knife Incident

Fredmund is currently attempting to write this blog, so I apologize for any typos that I might have missed. I also must apologize for not updating my blog in over a week. I don’t really have an excuse, so let me distract you with a retelling of last night’s dinner service chez moi.

I decided on a whim last night that I was going to make homemade chicken noodle soup for dinner. Kyle approved of this greatly, and I set about chopping vegetables and whatnot. While I was pulling one of my Ginsu knives out of the block, I became distracted by Fredmund winding around my legs. Entranced by his cuteness, I unconsciously released my grasp of the knife.

I must say, the sharpness of the blade would have made a QVC salesman proud as the knife pierced through my jeans without the slightest hesitation and stuck in the side of my right calf with admirable ease. Luckily, the knife clattered onto the ground without hitting Fredmund, who was completely unfazed by the blood dripping out of my leg and onto the floor mere inches from his face.

Kyle: “GOOD GOD!”

[blood oozing out of  my leg at a slightly alarming rate]

Moi: “Why is my blood so dark? Oh no! I’m a daedric looooooord!”

The cut was small in size but not insignificant in depth. Kyle was concerned, but I tossed a Band-Aid on it and called it good. Ten minutes later…

Kyle: “Jordan, you’re bleeding through the bandage.”

Moi: “Oh, you’re right.” [slaps a second Band-Aid on top of the first one] “Problem solved.”

Kyle: “…”

I didn’t bleed all the way through the second Band-Aid, so I convinced Kyle that more drastic measures were not needed. I am contemplating getting a baby gate for the kitchen so Fred can’t hypnotize me with his adorable charm in the future.

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